I am so depressed

For not having a baby yet

pissed off haha

Ok. This cycle is a bit weird.
1) I dreamed of holding my baby Maria. so many realistic BFPs in my dreams
2) OPKs were dark, but no progress to becoming a positive
3) Pelvic pressure
4) bleeding and spotting (maybe because I cough too hard)
5) bleeding after sex (WTH??)

so i went to the emergency. They checked urine PT. Negative. They checked my blood for HCG. Still Negative. Fuck my body! For the previous 2 months I got back my regular periods (28 days) but this month is a heck! My OPKs are running out and no positive yet. DAMN girl !!! It's been 2 weeks tho since I had my fever, sore throat, flu and cough. Maybe this is what causing the delay !!! MAYBE JUST MAYBE !!!!!!!!! Stopped using FURMON. My next effort is to consume PURE HONEY I bought from my mum. and im gonna drink TONS of coffee after this. I didnt end up being pregnant when I stopped my caffeine intake. I know so many ppl who drank so much coffee and they are heavy smokers as well, but hell they can get pregnant SO EASILY. Not Fair!!!!!!! eVEN low carbs diet made me SICK like shit !

It has been 2 years and 3 months already. AND we are still waiting !@@!!WZ21p2345G6W3764U

Cycle Day 22

Still having my sore throat, flu, bad cough, bit of fever, headache and bit of toothache (or shall i say gumache)

Yesterday : cycle day 22
Today : cycle day 23

After i coughed my organs out yesterday i noticed a brown discharge which was too early for a period, too early for an implantation bleeding and too weird to hv it as an ovulation bleeding because i never got this before.

So i googled, most of them said and found out that they were pregnant.

If i recall, yes my previous cycle was from hell. Positive hpt before period and after period.

Then last nigt at around 8.30pm i tested for opk, and it was dark! Not dark enough for a positive but it's almost positive!

This is very confusing.....why do i get a positive opk and spotting on the same day?...why??

Cycle Day 17

No positive opk yet. Pf..

I caught a flu wet cough and a sorethroat yesterday. My wisdom tooth was really bothering as well.

So this morning i went to the dentist to get it extracted. My god...after the pull out and when thr anesthetic wore out, i caught a fever as well. Ate an icecream to deal with the throbbing pain, it worked temporarily but my throat would not thank me.

God knows how i feel. Checked temperature tonight, and it went up to 38.87!! Bear in mind what normal for me is 35.5!

So as usual, im using detox foot patch to reduce the heat by tmorrow. I rub vicks on my chest and throat. I drank hurix flucough. I drank many water so that i could feel better tomorrow. My throat is killing me!

No positive opk yet. I am so confused #cry

Yong clinic menglait

So i couldnt wait. I called Yong Clinic and asked for an ultrasound. They asked to come before 430pm.

I am now here. Given 3 cups of water to fill in my bladder. Now i am still waiting... only if i got the feeling to pee then i'll be asked to do the ultrasound.

I showed the PTs to this indian doctor. Seriously I am so not pleased by her treatment. Not that I do not expect to be treated likr a vip, but the way she talked to me was like she didnt wanna talk at all. She even disregard my PTs and said that they are all negatives. Wtf. According to google.com it said a line is a line no matter how faint. What a bitch. Even if she was right, as a doctor you were trained to speak and explain to patients professionally.

If it is not because of the cheap price for ultrasound, I wouldnt bother to come back. Damn! Ok bye! Will give updates.

UPDATES:
uterus seems fine and show nothing. Good news is, my Pcos is no longer bothering me! My ovaries are now super healthy! Thanks to furmon!

Then she asked to check PT. Bear in mind that time my urine was sooo diluted bcoz i drank a lot of water before the ultrasound. They are using the most sensitive test from Singapore it even can detect Hcg from diluted urine. And it came out NEGATIVE.

Whatever! I still trust my body and my dreams. Damn it

Low carb Day 15

Breakfast
-nothing

Lunch
-3 ketul ayam nda abis
-sayur peria 3 sudu only coz paitttt
-1 ketul ikan damit
-4 strips kit kat
-keropok hubby

Im wondering..faint bfp still

Ok...the faint bfp appeared before period and after period. Am i getting an ectopic????

Ok i took another test lg, and same story. Second line appeared within 2 minutes, maybe because my urine was a bit diluted. Thid morning it appeared in 1 minute.

What is this?? Dr avinash is now on leave and will only be back on 24th sept... i am so curious! Fibroid? Cyst? Endo? Baby?? Baby?? I hope it's a baby!

Low carb Day 14

Weight - maintained

Breakfast
-kit kat 4 strips

Lunch
-4 eggs which im sure i cant finish
-salmon tail
-tibadak

Dinner

-ambuyay and cacah, daging sikit, sayur kangkong

-lemon ping

Low carb Day 10

Breakfast:
- 3 scrambled egg with mayo with black pepper with pinch of garlic and salt (couldnt finished)

Lunch:
- ayam kari 2 ketul
- daging rendang half cup
- sayur bayam

Dinner:
- ayam salai 1
- tongkeng 1
They are too salty
-4 ulas tibadak
-7 to 8 rambutans

Naturale

Not on clomid this cycle. Would like to make things happen naturally