My first failed pregnancy

Thanks to Allah....I got pregnant immediately after our honeymoon.I had all the classic symptoms such as nausea, headaches, craves, backache, ngilu on uterus, as far as i remember lah.

I remembered that day i craved for nasi ayam (actually i craved for nasi ayam since our honeymoon) and didnt get to eat eat. Dulu baru2 kawin i did all the house chores, punya la letihhhh...lepas kawin we stayed at my dad-in-law's shophouse and had all the privacy all by ourselves. I guess i overworked too (memasak tahap dewa belagak mcm chef, siap ada cooking uniform plak tu, just to impress my husband at that time lol!) So bila dh buat byk kerja, my pangkal paha ni slalu je rasa ngilu. Kdg2 rasa tu naik kat peranakan. It didnt bother me coz i thought it would be normal for pregnant women to feel such pain.

Until one night time buat dishwashing, i felt my paha sebelah kanan extended towards my back bottom, rasa mcm ganjil sgt, so tensed. I felt my kidney mcm nak burse. Ughhh so sakit...backache was also terrible !!!

That night (cycle day 43) i spotted. Dark brown blood. Urmm...i was confused. Apa ni?? Normal ke pregnant women kuar darah? I didnt care lah coz it was so few. Mlm tu nak tidur fuhhhh punya lah panas !! Toss ke kana toss ke kiri rasa mcm ada sesuatu yg tak kena. Pegi jamban, terus rasa hangat. Emm...why so many blood?? Full kat dlm bowl tu penuh dgn darah !!! Pregnant ke tak aku ni? Why ada period??

The stupid thing about my first pregnancy was, since we live further away from parents, i didnt even bother to ask my mum. I let the blood flow mcm tu je, soooo banyak i was pale. I googled, and i knew it was a miscarriage, eventho i never tested a PT i was pretty sure i was pregnant. Coz my mensus before kawin slalu regular 28-30days. Lepas kawin je period dtg lambat so i expected pregnancy.

Only after the bleeding was over, i messaged my friend afi, coz she also penah miscarried before...and guess what? She marah at me and tanya kenapa tak bawa hospital kalau dh tau darah byk kluar?? I was speechless tak tau nak jawap apa. Ermm so husband and i went to emergency (as her advise). Check PT negative (ofcourse la negative sebab dah sminggu dah since last bleeding). Check urine, rupanyaaaaaaaa i was diagnosed with infection. Nama bacteria tu something like  "bla bla bla group B" ujung2 dia. Tak ingat... sebab tu fetus tak lekat. Sebab bacteria tu attack the fetus and made me sick!

So doktor bg lah antibiotic, finished all of em and doktor kata, f preggy lg kena kasitau doktor yg i jmpa that i penah kena jangkitan ni. Which i regret. Sebab 2nd, 3rd and 4th pregnancy i never informed this to my doctors, coz i always lupa !!! Sebab tu i always miscarried kot :( huhu.....

But its ok lah....belum rezeki kan...nothing to regret...